Go In and Take Possession

I am a lot less likely to complain about it now but there was a time when I would grumble about certain blessings...the kinds of blessings for which I had to work.  I suppose that I always had this expectancy that being truly blessed with something meant that it should be a given, a granted, a "bippity boppity boo!"  Anything other than this type of blessing would be, well, no blessing at all!  Right??? But then God in His awesomeness, as He always does, highlighted a scripture.  Deuteronomy 1:8 says, "Behold, I have set the land before you, GO IN and TAKE POSSESSION..."


According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, to possess means to seize and take control of something.  Those sounded like action words to me!  Yet most of the time when I was blessed with something I would balk at the opportunity to receive it all because a little work would have to be done on my part!!! So petty, I know!  You see, what would happen is that I would get a call from someone saying, "hey Monica, I have all this clothes (toys, tools, furniture, food, you name it) that we don't need anymore and I thought to ask if you were interested."  I have almost always said yes, because,  even though I might have been reluctant to receive it due to a little necessary work on my part, I was smart enough to realize that the end result was that I was being "added-to" and NOT "taken-from."  The sad part was that I would be complaining in my heart.  Things like, "ugh now I have to wash all this clothes and I literally just got caught up" or "Dude! now I need to drive to pick it up" or "Geez, now I need to move things around in my fridge to make room for all that food!"  I know this all sounds ludicrous.  I'm just being honest here! But you know what?  This is God's way!


I truly believe that most of the time, God's design is that we work for the promise.  Now I am not talking about striving to accomplish things in God's kingdom as I hold fast to the belief that, since Christ's death on the cross, we have entered the "New Wine Skin" season, meaning, now we live by grace not the law.  Now it's not by anything we do on our own but what the Holy Spirit does on our behalf.  That's a post in and of itself which I wont get into here, but it's truth.  However,  it is still necessary to walk out some principles set before us since old testament times.  When God promised the Israelites the land flowing with milk and honey, I wonder if they had thought they would simply enter into this amazing land that would be neatly wrapped in a package with a huge bow on it and that the only effort required was the pulling on the string to unleash the bow.  I wonder if when told to go in and take possession and fight and kill all the inhabitants of the land if they once thought, "what kind of a gift is that?  You mean we have to battle, sweat, lose lives?"  LOL!!!  Ok...so...me washing a little extra clothes or preparing food not on my menu that week is so dim in comparison to killing people to take my promise but I hope you catch my drift!  Most promises are work people!!! Shocked? Yeah, you're telling me!


Maybe for you it's not the stupidity of complaining that someone just blessed you with a new beautiful couch that you have to go pick up on your only weekend off in a month!  Maybe for you it is complaining that you have to dig deeper into the gift and calling God has placed on you.  Maybe you worship and you can sing but you really need to take classes in order to step into the fullness of your anointing.  Maybe you're called to be a missionary, evangelist, pastor or prophet and God has called you to a season of training and you're like, "If I am called to this then just let me BE this.  Why all the work?"   Whatever your anointing or calling in life, whether that be "ministry" or secular (which I believe if you're in Christ it is all ministry) like a journalist, writer, actor, dancer, lawyer, teacher or maybe it's a dream you have like beautiful landscaping, a nice car, a nice physique etc...whatever it is...you're, more than likely, going to have to work for it.  You're going to have to be disciplined and determined to see it thru.


The amazing thing about it is that you can be sure that although you had to work for it and press into it, it still is very much a blessing!  Especially because when put your blood and sweat into something, you tend to care for it and guard it so much more than if it was just handed to you.  And honestly, I think learning that part of it is the true blessing, for what good is a promised land if when you receive it, you end up losing it for lack of appreciation towards it, all because you invested nothing into attaining it!


I thank God I learned it! A couple days ago I got a ton of food I gladly drove 20 miles each way to pick up.  I also got a washer and dryer for free that I sent my hubby to work for ;)  WE DID NOT COMPLAIN! :) And so now this is my constant prayer...Lord, send me the promise I WILL GO IN AND TAKE POSSESSION of it in Jesus' name!

Your Conscience

I have to admit that writing this blog today feels intimidating. Some of it is due to the fact that I chose not to post anything the last two Fridays during Spring Break vacation.  It is hard to get back on the wagon, and quite frankly my initial feeling about it was not to write at all.  "What's another week?  No one will know any different."  But here I am because I made a commitment to myself and THAT is important.  One of the first things I learned early on in recovery was that in order to build my self-esteem I have to do "esteemable" acts.  Honoring my word, yes even to myself, builds my self-esteem.  Failing to do what I said I would do could drive me back into my addiction in no time.  Why? Because the alcohol and the drugs are what I used in the past to cover up the yucky feeling I would get day in and day out from simply having lived the previous day in the chaos of bad choices.  And it became a cycle.  Drink/drug, be stupid, drink and drug to feel better about being stupid!  Now its been since January of 2009 that I haven't put a  drug in my body with the purpose of altering the way I was feeling about myself.  Have I dishonored my word since?  Yes I have...I am far from perfect.  Thankfully I have been in recovery long enough to have built a new set of coping mechanisms to turn to in the event that I fail to honor my word, or any falling short of God's glory for that matter.  The most important of them is to confess my sin and to repent and ask Jesus to forgive me and help me to do better. Next to that there is a full repertoire of things for me to turn to before even thinking of "healing" myself with drugs or alcohol.  Thank God! 
The other reason writing this post is a little intimidating is because, once again, I plan on being honest about how my soul thinks and processes things.  Being authentic is always scary to me.  As you can see I am still working on being free from seeking the approval of people.  Therefore I  WILL post on my originally intended topic, but not today!  I feel compelled to continue on my rabbit trail.  Because sitting here and writing about the importance to honor my word and do "esteemable" acts in order to feel better about myself, reminds me of  something Paul said to Timothy.  1 Timothy 1:18-19 states, "...here are my instructions to you...may they help you fight well in the Lord's battles.   Cling to your faith in Christ, and KEEP YOUR CONSCIENCE CLEAR.  For SOME people HAVE deliberately VIOLATED their CONSCIENCES, and AS A RESULT THEIR FAITH HAS BEEN SHIPWRECKED."
So, I suppose that for this post I just want to encourage you.  Maybe you find yourself driven back, time and again, to that sin which so easily entangles you.  For you it might not be drugs or alcohol.  For you it might be lying, cheating, promiscuity, over/under eating, spending, gambling, anger, controlling people, places or things etc...there are so many others!   Whatever it is that you turn to when the pressure is on, pause and think on it.  Ask yourself what you are trying to cover up.  For me, the first thing I would feel is inadequacy.  And in order to stop feeling inadequate I would get high.  For you, eating a dozen donuts might solve the issue (I did this too : | ).  Regardless of the coping mechanism of your choice, ask yourself why?  Ask the Lord to bring to the light what it is you are trying to hide.  He is faithful to show you any area that is not in the light.  Once He shows you, purpose to make that your commitment to Him and to yourself.  For everyone it is different.  Something as simple as yelling at your kids out of frustration might drive you to over-spend in order to help you feel up to par.  It honestly doesn't have to be this huge dramatic thing that drives you to feeling inadequate and as a result "shipwrecks your faith."  Whatever it is, bring it before sweet Jesus.  He is so gentle and kind and is not in any way condemning towards you.  He is faithful to cleanse you of ALL unrighteousness!
Maybe you don't know Him yet, and you find yourself skeptical but curious.  May I encourage you to simply inquire of Him?  Say to Him, "hey Jesus, I desperately want to know if You are real and You really are who Monica says you are."  I promise you, wholeheartedly promise you, with unshakable certainty, that He will show himself to you because He wants nothing more than to be your friend and to show you His loving kindness! IT really is better than life!!!
Praise be to Him who brings us from darkness into His marvelous light!!!
With LOVE!
M