The Heart Speaks

"...For whatever is in your heart determines what you say." Matthew 12:34 (NLT)

Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. We can speak blessings or curses. And through them, we will either produce life or death.

My life in recovery is exactly that...LIFE! I can hardly say that I was LIVING before recovery. I mean, yes my heart was beating and I was moving around doing things, however, my spirit and soul were dead. I can go back to memories of bad-mouthing myself. Speaking about how ugly I was, how worthless I was, how unworthy I was, how fat I was, how stupid was...you catch my drift? I didn't know it then, but now I realize that I was in a perpetual state of speaking death over myself. This only caused a cycle to start. The more trash I said about myself, the more trash I had become in my mind, and therefore, the more drugs and alcohol I needed to have to feel better about myself. Once the effect of those drugs and alcohol wore off, I'd be hitting myself over the head with the guilt and shame hammer, speaking more death over myself, which would make me want to drink and use again in order to feel better! I was trapped!!!

Matthew 12:34 spoke volumes to me. If it is a condition of the heart, then in order to change the things I speak, something needs to change in my heart! But how?

Proverbs 2:1-10 says that when we discover what it truly means to fear the Lord, wisdom will enter our hearts! As a pastor once so clearly put it, the word FEAR here is speaking of a reverence for the Lord that produces obedience. And what these verses are saying is that, if I obey my Lord, seeking with all my heart to do what is right in His sight and I search for wisdom as for hidden treasure by reading his Word, then wisdom will enter my heart, changing its condition to a higher level and therefore changing my death words into words of life!

I am not superhuman, therefore, it is true that every once in a while, Satan or my own flesh tries to get me to believe a lie. However, when that happens, I purpose to stop that thought in its path and replace it with the words God uses to describe who I am in Him.

He is so faithful!