New Year's What?

Oh boy...it has been a very looooong time since I've seen this place!  It feels good and scary all at the same time. But here goes nothing.  I decided about a month ago, through prayer and lots of procrastination, that I would pick up writing in my blog again. I don't know why, but I know that I know that I know that it is time.  My writing before is different from the way it will be this time. Or so I think. This time I don't plan on consistently trying to drive a point home, although that may very well happen sometimes.  Honestly, I feel that this time it is more about just writing and being diligent. So forgive me if you happen to stumble on my page one day and it's not something super encouraging or deep.  Nevertheless, I promise to be as real and uncomfortably raw as possible! Why??? I am SOOOO glad you asked...well, because it's part of my New Year's Resolution! WHAT? yes I said it...NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!
For a while now I have mocked the whole "New Year's celebration" and resolution-flinging that goes around this time of year.  It's so like God to make me eat my words.  You see, to me every day is a new day, a new chance to start over. Shoot! Sometimes every freakin' second of the day is an opportunity for a turnaround, at least that is how it is in MY life.  So when everyone starts talking about all the new and improved year they are going to have just because the year changed, I kinda sorta giggle a little.  But this year...this year it's different!!! No, really, it is! Maybe its because I am closer to being 40 or because I have had the crappiest past 2 years EVER regarding my faith.  Maybe it is simply because I finally, concretely and most assuredly made this decision just this morning as I was praying and it happened to be New Year's Day! Dude I don't know, but its what I am calling it and I'm sticking to it...my New Year's Resolution.
What is it, you ask??? It is facing my fears and doing it anyway! Yep that's right, this year I intend to purposefully challenge myself to do whatever it is that I am afraid to do.  Now I am not talking about sheer stupidity like jumping off a building or driving a car off a cliff.  I mean things that will really shake in your boots and cause you to sweat but not die! Maybe it's an invitation to do something I never thought I was capable of doing.  I don't know exactly what these things are but the point is to stretch and grow.  I believe that conquering those things will serve as a catapult for the next level that the Lord has for me.
To be honest with you I really don't know the fullness of my fears.  But I prayed this morning that the Lord would reveal them as the days go by and that I would have a very keen sense of fear-awareness so that I can purpose to question WHY they are there, WHEN they got planted there & WHAT I need to do to reverse that lie that I have accepted as truth.  Needless to say, I am including you in this journey.  Feel free to ask me if I have recently cowered and backed down to a fear.  Go ahead! PLEASE, hold me accountable! If in the process I look like a fool, I'm cool with that because something tells me that at the end of it all, I will be refined and better than before! Yet to God be all the glory!!!