Testimony

During the Christmas season I made gift baskets so I could sell them to businesses and current customers.  I was honestly a lot terrified because most of my stops would be with people I have never met before.  I was basically "cold calling" but in person!  Here is a definition of cold calling: "a technique whereby a salesperson contacts individuals who have NOT PREVIOUSLY EXPRESSED AN INTEREST in the products or services being offered.  I don't know about you but that sounds a little scary to me.  But you know what?  I did it anyway. I did it for my family so I could hopefully pay for our Christmas out of the increase.
The first and second day went really well. I was so happy and surprised at how many people really enjoyed looking at the product and getting excited to bless someone special in their lives!  It was a great feeling! I loved it! 
So, I went out again, but, on this day, my sales weren't too hot.  I was definitely disappointed, especially because I had to take time away from my beautiful kids and my amazing husband.  I sat there and thought for a while about how I was still thankful because I had at least done my part.  Not many people wanted things that day and that was ok because I followed thru with my commitment to myself.  Coming to this place of acceptance was good, and I felt peace, however, greater joy came after I got off the phone with my director. 
She referenced the fact that she was so proud of me for overcoming the fear of simply getting out of my car. YES, I had shared with our team one day how getting out of the car was the hardest part.  And so she commended me for just having done that.  And Suddenly, it dawns on me that something so much greater was revealed and I was overjoyed!  When I got off the phone I began to praise the Lord and thank Him for being so good to me.  
You see...early on in my recovery from Alcohol and Drug addiction, as I was learning to live with out them, I would leave my house to run errands only to come back having not fulfilled one of them, NOT ONE!  What would happen was that I would drive to these different stores to accomplish my tasks only to find myself absolutely terrified in the parking lot, sitting in my car completely paralyzed and unable to get out.  I would park, wait for 10 minutes, drive off, come back, park again, wait another 10 or 15 minutes and then leave completely defeated and not having ever entered the store.  This would happen over and over again.  I would even go as far as going to the first store, do the whole "park and leave" thing, and think to myself  that if I went to another store on my list first I would feel better and come back to this one.  But I would go to the other store and the same stupid cycle would happen there!!! It was awful!
I had gotten so used to the way I did life prior to being sober that any event, without me being high in some way, was unbearable.  I used to drive to the mall with a beer in my hand, another one wrapped in foil so that,  while I went in really quickly to purchase what I was looking for, it wouldn't get cold.  Then on my way out I would stop by the bar at the cheesecake factory and order a shot to validate my valet parking spot!!! Then it was back to the car, pop open the foil-wrapped beer and head out!  If there was ever a time that I did do something sober, during my drinking and using days, I would do it with sunglasses on my face.  For some reason that felt safe then.
But OH MY GOSH!!! Here I am, basically going door to door offering products to people who have NOT PREVIOOUSLY EXPRESSED AN INTEREST in them!!! AND I WAS SOBER!!!  That is so huge!!! Look at what my amazing Father did for me! I was free!  When I got off the phone with my director and I realized it, I was overwhelmed with joy and gratefulness to my God, my Lord Jesus!  That was huge for me! This day went down in history as a victory!  In spite of the fact that I didn't sell much at all, it was a WIN!
Now telling you this story in and of itself is a great testimony, but I can't write off until I've said this one last thing...There is a scripture in the Book of Revelation that says that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.  And I believe that 100%!  I believe that giving a testimony is prophesying that the very thing He did for me, he can do for you too!  If you are struggling with addiction and this hell of a prison, reach out to Jesus!  It says in His word that He is not a respecter of persons, which means that He plays no favorites...I am no more special than you, and if He did it for me, He wants to do it for you too, if you allow Him!!! So call out to Him, just say His name if that's all you can bring yourself to do, He is faithful!!! Watch Him Move!!!